Elvaan are the worst race in FFXI.

Disclaimer: If you don’t agree with my opinions, or play as an Elvaan and like it, good for you. Now fuck off and go away. This is my blog, not yours.

As the linkshell I belong to already knows, I despise the Elvaan race with 1 ½ exceptions. The 1 being Roninhiroishi, who helped me get rank 6, and the ½ being Jeangallo, who is ½ because I usually see him as Mogwae or doing some kind of dual-box thing. Other than those two, I’d greatly appreciate it if SE would eliminate them from the game. I know they won’t actually do it, but it would be so cool if they did. Here, in no particular order are the reasons I don’t like the Elvaan:

1. They look stupid.
It’s something that a lot of people have noticed since the game came out. Elvaan are gangly creatures with disturbingly long, giraffe-like necks. Why the long necks? Are they some kind of bisexual race and the men need the necks like that for deepthroating each other? If that’s true, why to the females have the same necks? Could this entire race be transsexual? My personal research says yes, that’s the entire reason.

2. Where are the women?
Each of the sexually reproducing races of Vana’diel have two genders: Male and Female. Galkas don’t count, since they reproduce asexually making them a relative of the earthworm. Although hume female faces 5 and 7 look pretty butch, you can still spot a hume female. Elvaan, on the other hand look exactly alike in terms of gender. In some cases like RDM and PLD AF, female characters wear a shorts/garters getup rather than pants. Elvaan are no exception, but when I see it I assume it’s some Elvaan guy showing off how gay he is.

3. The high STR stat attracts the worst players.
In order to make up for being the ugliest race, Elvaan get the highest strength in the game. I guess to balance this out the stupidest person in the pt will usually be Elvaan. Not only will they be stupid, but they’ll either be face 1A and have the word Sephiroth in their name or be named after some other anime character. (For anyone that didn’t play FF7, Sephiroth was the game’s villain. He was also fucking stupid.)

4. Everyone hates something about this game.
I just happen to really hate two things: Elvaan and San d’Oria.