Turn out the Lights, Party’s Over

Looks like I won’t be returning to FFXI at all. Slim chance, but the two or three of you still on Bahamut shouldn’t get your hopes up. I’m sure everyone still playing will get over it. I won’t be moving over to any other MMORPG. I played SWG when it first started and it was okay, but FFXI was just more fun. I played WoW for a couple months back when Burning Crusade came out. It’s not a bad game, but it’s just not FFXI. A little cliché, but that’s the way things go. Luckily, I took screenshots of most of my time in Vana’diel so I can present my own experience in my own awesome blog. Which kind of becomes useless since I’m not playing but if blogs are for anything, it’s being useless.

Starting Out


Here’s me on my way out of the dunes finally. I’d just gotten war and mnk to lvl 20, and was exploring Horutoto. Shortly after this was taken, Dopleganger Gog Killed me. Stupid asshole.

Here I am doing what most people did in Qufim, lfg. Back when I started we didn’t have all these fancy-pants “Level Sync” and “Fields of Valor”, and that’s the way we liked it! In fact, the path to Qufim was through the snow and uphill both ways. They changed that to that sissy tunnel right before they put Fenrir in the game.

I’m now at 21, finally getting my chocobo quest done. If you see anyone you know in the background of these, leave a comment. Unless it’s Osker. Everyone’s talked to him before.

I rode my chocobo back to Windurst just in time for the first Halloween. I got a Quadav costume from the NPC and called the whole even retarded. Anyone that was there will agree with me. Anyone that doesn’t agree with me is lying.

Back to Qufim, right outside Delkfutt’s Tower. I don’t know any of these people, but I may have to look them up on FFXIAH.com just to see if they still even play.

Level 24 now, and finally grew my first tree. This would turn into my main source of income when the economy was still inflated. I once had over 35 million gil on me and blew it all in less than a week. Just like real life, the economy is a bitch.

At lvl 30 here, with my shiny new Eisen armor set that came with Chains of Promathia. I never did beat that stupid expansion, but from what I’ve read about it I didn’t miss much. Thanks for trying to drag me through it, Tala. At least you tried.

Sauromugue and killing weapons. Remember when that was new and so very, very exciting? I was also subbing ninja, which is very bad at 30 nowadays apparently. Stupid kids and changing things. Everyone knows everything was better the way it was.

Ah, Garbage Shitadel. I never really had a problem with the zone, so I’m not really sure why it’s called that by some people.

Later…

We’ll skip ahead a few levels and witness me in Altepa fighting Anticans. Probably the best beastman race of any MMORPG I’ve ever played. They’re ants. If they’d just add a Queen Antican the game really would be finished. If they have added one, let me know.

As with most jobs, being a warrior all the time gets boring. I decided to unlock Samurai, and had to beg and plead with the douchebags of Ignited to actually come and help with any of it. Unless Eyfa was on. As s/he was a solo dragoon, s/he was more than happy to come help out as long as it meant killing something. As Eyfa was a Mithra, I have to use the gender-neutral “s/he” when talking about him/her.

Leveling sam can be a lot more fun than war simply because I didn’t really like tanking. Actually, I fucking hated it. You never have to worry about that on sam, though. I don’t think they’ll ever be considered great tanks for any level, unless you’re going to try to turd count (same definition as splitting hairs, nit-pick btw) and tell me they can tank some stupid monsters I’ve never seen and will never see. Up yours, turd counters.

As with most jobs, being a samurai all the time gets boring. I went back to warrior and used my gardening riches to get a shiny new Luisant gloves and a Walkure Mask. I couldn’t find anything exceptionally better than leaping boots, so I’m wearing those. Yeah, I’d be lynched for that nowadays. Well, those weren’t nowadays so fuck off.

The Shitadal basement. Where dreams go to die, or something like that. I didn’t have that problem in my brand new Luisant Haubert. It was about 1.5 million gil back then, too. So not only did I have more money than the rest of the party combined, I also had that sweet blue Mooglearmy linkpearl next to my name. Beat that, Sparkus and Scarlett! Whoever the hell you are.

The Mooglearmy once got a skillup party going in Fei’Yin, and I got invited to work on my sword skill. The 1.6million Bloodsword demanded it. Remember Truce? I know he was a paladin when I joined and I think he quit shortly after. That’s all I know about him. And look, there’s Bermont back when he was a little baby (white?)mage.

When I finally hit 60, I equipped all my artifact armor just to take this screenshot. Son of a bitch, the war sports bra looks stupid.

Here we go on the way to Aht Urhgan. I’ve got my Haubergeon and some of the Sipahi armor set added with that expansion came out. Goddamn boat ride was like 30 minutes, too.

Almost level 70 now, and I found Aricelia! She always had more endgame gear than me, but she also put in the hours to “earn” it. I have to put quotes on earn just because I think the methods used by most endgame linkshells to distribute treasure is fucking stupid if you don’t have 20+ hours a week to play. You can argue with me all you want about this, but it’s my blog so I win and you fuck off.

This one’s of my Samurai finally getting past 60 in Aydeewa Subterrane. MoogleArmy had been deserted, so I have that ugly-ass linkpearl next to my name. I don’t remember what they called themselves, only that Tala got me in and the leader and his in-game girlfriend (IT’S A MAN!) kept calling each other “hun”. Fucking disgusting, seriously. I don’t remember what happened to the rest of the party in the picture, so I’ll assume I killed them all.

For a while, Kyrek wanted the sword Cancer dropped for his warrior. Or paladin, I don’t really remember anymore. Anyway, I went out there for a few hours and helped Kyrek beat Cancer. He’s lucky it’s a crab, because actual cancer’s not nearly as easy to beat or as stupid-looking as the crabs.

End of Days…..

Here’s me at the closest I ever came to endgame gear, which would be considered a decent starter set. Joyeuse, Maneater, that stupid turban with the name, gay purple haste gloves, surfing pants and unicorn boots. Intimidating, I know.

What Engame is supposed to be about: Killing Byakko until he drops his pants. That linkshell I’m with in the pic was a steaming pile, so even if the pants did drop from that one I wasn’t going to be getting them.

Nyzul Isle, on the other hand was actually pretty enjoyable. Get a random party together than run up 5 floors to fight one of the bosses that might drop part of some nice free armor sets. But the drop rate is low, so most of the time we got nothing. Except this one, where I got Goliard Clogs for when I was leveling Scholar. Being the one mage job I actually liked playing I felt I need the clogs even though I was only level 40.

Finally, me with my second “endgame” linkshell, Kazoku. Except for Mogwae (who got me in) and a couple others, it was a collection of douchebags. Especially the leader, who apparently used them to get into an even more “elite” linkshell with an even stupider name. If anyone knows what “kazoku” means let me know. I’m not looking it up myself. As I didn’t have the prerequisite amount of melee/mage jobs leveled, I’m not sure how I got it without actually filling out a gay application.

Next, and final: The List

Taking a Break….

I’ve made a point of keeping my blog free from commenting on anything happening in my real life (as it were). Well, that’s over for this post. Due to my awesome governmental (it IS a word) HR skills I was transferred halfway across the country, and my wife hasn’t exactly been taking the move well. I blame her idiot younger sister who we now live close enough for her/it to visit on a semi-regular basis. There are very few things in the world worse than listening to an arrogant, (probable) eco-terrorist/militant vegan endlessly preach on and on about how fucking wrong it is to eat meat and how animals have all the rights of people (it’s not, and they don’t). I’m too old (graying hair and all) to listen to some dumbfuck career student/coed whore bitch at me for being omnivorous. The inevitable arguments of “don’t eat meat” vs. “fuck you” have of course put undo strain on my wife, who doesn’t deserve it. As far as I can tell, if she’d ever play FFXI with me she’d literally be the perfect woman. So, I won’t be playing all that much for a while. Maybe not for a few days, maybe not for a few months. I do have a couple more entries written, and I’ll upload them somewhere down the road. In the meantime, here’s a screenshot of most of what I do in terms of endgame activities:



That’s right, hide in the shrubs until whatever it is happens to be dead. Ain't life grand?

What’s Left?

My gil is nearly gone, and I have little hope for finding a new source of income. My experiences in endgame have been all bad. I ask for help killing the NM’s inside La Vaule[S] and get only silence. Any other answer would be preferable even if it is “no”. “Where’s your Brutal Earring? Where’s your Byakko’s Haidate?” I keep being asked. All I can think to say is “Help me get them or shut the fuck up about it.” My friendlist is down to one person. My linkshell is gone. Still rank 6 and my progress into the CoP/ToAU/WoTG storylines have all stopped. I have over 200 beastman’s seals and nothing to do with them. There aren’t many bcnms I have the gear to solo other than Treasures and Tribulations, and the Sorcerer’s Ring is too rare a drop to spend the seals on. I can’t solo mobs for the ZNM system, so it is useless. So much of the game is that way: Unsoloable, and therefore beyond my grasp. Merit parties are just like every other xp party: Everyone whines for a bard, and then complains if the party can’t get 25k per hour. Campaign Battle remains, though its appeal is dwindling. What am I still doing here? I wonder how many times I can log out before I stop logging in.

Capitalizing on the Mistakes of Others, or How I got Goliard Clogs.

Recently I was invited to a pickup group doing a few Nyzul Isle 15-20 runs. For any that don’t know, floor 20 is where the feet of the Askar/Denali/Goliard sets drop. The party leader apparently reserved the Askar boots for him, and asked the rest of the party which of the other boots they’d like. With no use for the Denali, I said Goliard. Surely those clogs would provide motivation to get off my lazy ass and level a mage job. I did get black mage to 37, but red and white are somewhere in the 20’s. Scholar’s what I’d like to take to 75 based on what I’ve played of them all. Before I continue, here’s the three drops I’m talking about, courtesy of the FFXI Wiki:







Anyway, I’ve done a few of these 15-20 runs, somewhere in the upper teens. The first goes fine and we clear it, but nothing drops. The second run we get stuck for a few minutes on one of those “Light the lamps in a certain order” floors and run out of time halfway through killing the floor 20 boss. The third we get through everything fast again, and Goliard Clogs drop. Since me and the red mage were the only ones that seemed to actually want them, we both cast our lots. Her: 9 (very me-like) Me: 977. The Goliard Clogs were mine, and the red mage didn’t seem too happy that I couldn’t use them right away. She (I refer to the rdm as a she since it was a Mithra. Chances are it was a guy.) was upset for a few minutes, but didn’t seem to mind all that much after a while. We all had tags for a 4th run, and ran out of time again with the boss at 2%. While I would’ve preferred that Great Axe that let’s you unlock King’s Justice, I’ll settle for footgear I’ll be able to use in the not-so-distant future.

Dynamis, Where the Douchebag is King.

I should have published this back in July sometime.

After complaining about my lack of “endgame” gear for a while, I found my way into a Dynamis only linkshell. The linkshell’s leader is named Drittz, I quickly learned. Someone that names themselves after a faggy dark elf character in a series of stupid “high fantasy” books already has a stike against them in my book (which is superior to regular books). As soon as I saw this guy, there went strike 2 and strike 3. He was Elvaan, and a San d’Orian. He was also a lvl 75 ninja, which is the secret strike 4. Most 75 ninjas are fucking douchebags, with very few exceptions. I was invited to come along for Dynamis – San d’Oria, just to get it cleared. Apparently the boss of each Dynamis area leaves a ??? spot on the ground that gives you a key item you need to access the later areas. It was interesting to learn about how a successful Dynamis is run. About halfway through, one of the mobs dropped the warrior relic boots. Even though this was my first Dynamis ever, I was the only warrior in the whole thing, so Drittz said I could have them. The whole group cleared the Dynamis with very few, if any, problems. I thought this could be something I’d like to do on a consistent basis.



Boy was I wrong. The more time I spent with these people, the more I learned that I really, really didn’t care for them. Nearly all of them are from the same social/endgame linkshell, so I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about most of the time. Granted, I don’t know what the fuck MoogleArmy’s talking about most of the time but I’ve been there long enough to at least recognize a few names they tend to mention. Drittz is an arrogant douchebag, and more than one person told me he was. Aricelia said so using more curse words than are usually needed, but Aricelia’s bluntness is usually a good thing (Unless she’s talking about me, then it’s her being a bitch). I thought I could put up with all this bullshit as long as I got my Beastmaster relic armor, my only reason for having even a slight interest in Dynamis in the first place. I don’t really care about warrior’s relic armor. I just wanted BST, and I made sure to let everyone around me know it. Anywho, after a few Dynamis runs, clearing Bastok and then doing San d’Oria again, we get to Windurst. This one’s a bitch, apparently. We nearly made it all the way through before we all got killed and ran out of time. What bothered me is that no BST relic dropped. About a month later, we go to Windurst again. This would be my fifth run, making me more than able to lot for whatever relic I had written in my search comment. I was the only person with BST marked, and lo and behold, BST drops from about the 11th mob. Drittz asks who has BST marked, and I say me. He then asks what lvl my BST is, and I once again tell him it’s only 37 but it’s the only reason I’m here. He then declares it a freelot, finally erasing all doubt I had about him possibly not being a huge fucking douche. I cast my lot for it, getting a 997. Nearly everyone else in the ls showed how un-Drittz-like they were and didn’t lot at all. A few did, and I wrote their names down for future reference. Once enough time had passed and the helm was mine, I got a /tell from a Paladin named Cabaal congratulating me on my new helm. I thanked him and had a little talk in /tell about a few things. Maybe five mobs later, a second Monster Helm drops. Simply awesome. If I had lost that helm, which I was the only person in the ls that had it marked in their search comment I would’ve warped away from the whole fucking thing and told Drittz just what I thought about him. Hint: He’s a fucking douchebag. The run through Windurst continued, and we got all the way to the final boss, a big giant Yagudo statue. It’s surrounded by other mobs, so one person has to train them all one way while another provokes the Boss the other way, where the group can kill it. Well, the puller got the train headed one way, but nobody provoked the boss and it went right past us all. Drittz was dead at the time, and he threw a fit like a little sissy girl. I myself couldn’t stop laughing. I fell out of my chair and hurt my shoulder a little, but it was totally worth it. Time expired and we were all kicked out of Dynamis, with Drittz being the only one of us dead. Here’s my favorite screenshot of the last two years:

BLM kiting Campaign Battle NM? {|Death|} {|You can have this.|} {|Please|}

I’ve been pretty involved in the Campaign Battle part of the Wing of the Goddess expansion since its release. The missions are probably interesting, but I don’t really care about those even if you do get to meet a male Mithra. My only complaint so far is the blms that actually think they can kite every mob that shows up. Guess what? You can’t, you idiot. Not only will they run you down and kill you, I’ll be trailing behind them to /laugh at you and /dance4 on your stupid corpse. Because you’ve earned it, douchebag.

What Kind of Idiot Has a Disband Macro? Apparently, Me.

With Warrior at 75 and Scholar being a boring pile, I decided to go back to Samurai for a while. It’s already 59, so I figured I could just do Campaign Battles to level it up until I could afford some non-gimp gear. One of those would be the Daihannya, a nice Great Katana. It drops off the Keeper of Halidom in the Sanctuary of Zi’Tah, and according to wiki the drop rate is an awesome 0.6%. Since I’d be farming Goobbues while camping the NM, I thought it would be okay. So I headed out to Zi’Tah to where the big guy spawns and get the 2 Goobbues there locked down, killing each one right as they respawn. A thf/nin was out there too farming just tree cutting, and we got to talking. (S)he would help kill the NM and keep the cutting and 2 clumps of moss it drops, and if the sword drops I’d get that. So I started a pt with the thf and got to work. About 20 minutes in, guess who shows up?


Yes, I am farming wearing a scorpion harness. Anyway, we kill the NM and the Daihannya actually drops! So I cast my lot and hit ctrl+7, my warp cudgel equip macro. At least, I thought that’s what it was. Apparently I hit the up arrow a time too many switching between sam and war macros and ended up on my old blm macro list. For some reason I’d made a pt disband macro, and I’ll give you three guesses to pick with number it was assigned to. That’s right ctrl+7. The pt disbands and all the treasure the Keeper of Halidom had dropped are totally lost. Now I’m stuck in Zi’Tah until I can get another daihannya or make enough gil to just go buy one….